normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
