May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
