you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
