It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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