My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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