ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
