oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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