Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
