Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
it's like heaven, but drunker
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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