I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
