Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
