I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
