I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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