some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
