toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
