It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
