Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
