Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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