Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
