i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Pooping to opera.
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