I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
operation have a gay friend backfired
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Bring me that man meat
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
