Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
