Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
