1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
