if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
