I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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