I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He? As in you personified your dick?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
