Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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