Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
