They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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