How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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