he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
