Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
