Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
