after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
