I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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