Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Come share oat with me in your robe
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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