I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
