Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
