Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
