I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
