i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
