I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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