You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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