Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
