Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
