if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
