Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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