I wannas sexs uuuuu
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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