It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
