I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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