somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
